Food Journal MIA

OK, what's going on? Well, I had a crazy busy week, and I lost my camera (no photos or video for 3-4 days). My food has been crazy. Jessica and I re-evaluated our parameters on sugars in our diet, we both felt as if the original purpose, which was to drop some weight and feel better, was not our experience so we agreed that dried fruit and natural sugars were allowed within normal serving sizes....in other words....moderation!

Obvious white sugar and fake sugars are not allowed. Neither one of us experienced any kind of sugar withdrawl, and both of us experienced the same kind of crazy 'trade-offs' of foods we would never normally eat, like bread & butter, chips, and many more higher calorie choices like nuts.

I'm also having some crazy thoughts about food journaling, at this point, for myself. I think food journaling is, and can be extemely valuable, but for me, at this time, I feel as if I'm putting too much focus on my food, more specifically, calorie counting. It's creating stress. OK....being accountable for it, on my blog, is more like the truth.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in making the "perfect" food choice, the "perfect" calorie count, that I over think it, and craziness happens. Of course, craziness doesn't just happen to me, nothing jumps onto my plate, or into my mouth, I chose for myself. But for some reason it's creating, or I'm letting it create anxiety. OK, I've talked myself through it........

Saturday AM weight 135.8
7:00am KB's
8:00am Bikram yoga
10:30 KB demos

coffee w/cream 120 cal.
apple ginger salad 120 cal.
white beans and lamb stew w/greens 400 cal.

Total calories 640 cal.

This was a low calorie day to make up for a oatmeal/brown rice/raisin/yogurt binge at 7:30pm the night before.

Sunday AM weight 135.6
10:o0am Bikram yoga
7:00pm 1 hour walk

coffee/cream 90 cal.
orange 80 cal.
oats 150 cal
nuts/dried fruit 600 cal.
pizza foccacia bread (2 1/2) @ Farmers Market 800 cal.
more nuts....I don't want to say.......craziness

Craziness. I thought about swinging for 45 minutes, but my front left deltoid is sore from snatching on Friday and I really need to recover in time for a killer workout tomorrow morning. I'm not going to like what I see on the scale tomorrow, but this I know.....I train hard.....I show up and never miss. I've been consistent like crazy with my yoga practice. and I'm going for a crazy, hauling ass walk right now! (I already posted it so I have to go, lol)

There's alot of pressure to be perfect. In fact, I have some anxiety about questioning myself whether or not I could "walk the talk", and Mark reminded me that I do walk the talk....everyday. Walking the talk isn't about being perfect, a perfect 1500 calorie day, or being a perfect size 6, but moving in the direction I know I want to go, even though it feels hard.

Life is good. Sometimes life feels hard, but everyday I feel luckier than the day before....everyday.