Friday, September 4, 2009
1 Day Old.....I mean, Young
6 lbs. 12 ounces
Minutes after Sophia was born, my son, Rick, was standing at her bassinet looking a little.....shall we say 'in shock', lol.....I guess the reality of this new life, this new responsiblity, the miracle of creation, who knows what was going through his mind, but whatever it was, it was overwhelming to say the least. I'm a little in shock myself....it hasn't really sunk in yet because I still see my two boys as little kids.....have they really grown up?
This last year, 1 1/2 years, has been different for me. Somehow I became distracted from having a positive outlook and started to become a little more cynical. I got wrapped up in myself too much. So much pressure to be better, that meant thinner, leaner, perfect. I wondered why God sent me 2 little kittens just weeks ago....2 kittens who needed a mother, unable to survive on their own.....I already had 5 cats I didn't need more! Why? Why the responsiblity, the clean up the feedings? Maybe it was to help me pull my head out of my backside to see a bigger picture, and to focus on something other than myself. Of course I knew little Sophia was coming, and she was nice enough to wait until Mark and I got back from our RKC weekend, but now that's she's here how will my life change?
Driving home from the hospital after yesterdays visit, I was thinking so much more positively. Every thought I had was hopeful, and exciting. It's almost like getting another chance. Isn't that how Grandparents describe having grandchildren, as 'another chance' to get it right! Another chance to be a better parent....not directly of course, but to be better than you were with your own kids......I just realized though....even if my kids are grown I'm still their parent and it's never too late to do better. I can do better, and I will.....with my two boys, and now my granddaughter.... I'm not too old, I can start again, I'm only 46 years young!