Friday, September 21, 2012
Bring Joy to Your Practice (smile!)
I really think I used to have a great Bikram's yoga practice! Better than it has been for the past year or so. I could blame lots of things, but one thing I know, I simply do not practice as much as I used to. My schedule has changed, or should I say, my priorities have changed? As always I still practice, without fail, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with Sunday always being optional (but rarely missed!). BUT, I used to have a double practice on those three days, which meant that my regular practice consisted of 6-7, 90 minute classes a week. This past year it's been half of what it was previous, if I'm lucky....oh, but wait, I am lucky! High quality problem huh? I only practice yoga 4 1/2 - 6 hours a week instead of 10+ hours a week! Cry me a river! Anyway...
I'm driving to class Wednesday morning, in all honesty I was not looking forward to it. I hear the thoughts in my head...."God this is going to be torture!", "this is going to suck!", "argh!", "maybe if traffic is bad I'll miss, and then I'll just go shopping! Yes, shopping is fun!!", or, "this is going to be so painful"....and the "painful" part is really my ego. Physically, it's just yoga! But facing how my life has changed, how I've changed my life, leaves only me to blame.
Maybe it's not as important to me anymore? But it feels like it is! I don't like how it feels to know I can do better, but yet not put into action what I need to make it better, or feel as it is as good as it once was, OR, at the very least, stop feeling bad and accept that it may be time to move onto something else. Something else that inspires me to be my best again. My Bikram's yoga practice is not doing that! Whoa.....!!!!!! Was I blaming Bikram's again?
So, as I was driving to my 10:00am class on Wednesday, with all of my negative thoughts about the practice, my practice, the last one negative thought I had....the very last one was this;
I'm just not finding joy in my practice anymore.
Right after I had that thought, there was no denying how negative it was, and I had to stop. What? What was that you just said? You are not finding joy in your practice? Well! When was the last time YOU brought joy to YOUR practice? Busted! I totally busted myself!
When was the last time I brought the joy? How could I expect something else to be responsible for how I felt? It's my responsibility to find the joy in my life, in all parts of my life, not just yoga. This resonated so deeply that I immediately thought about all of the other parts of my life I could bring the joy, or more joy! How lucky! I love my life! I love my yoga practice! I really, really, really see now, again, that I am the one that decides my mood! Amazing!
I see every part of my life as "my practice". My relationships are a practice. My eating, and food prep, a practice. My training, definitely a practice. My health, from brushing my teeth everyday to washing my hair, a practice. Keeping a house/home, a practice. Driving...a practice. Balancing my money, a practice. Writing, a practice. Thinking in positive and grateful ways, a practice. so much joy to have, and so much joy to bring.
Bring joy to your practice before you blame your practice for not giving you joy first. Smile!