Friday, September 3, 2010

I Have Enough

Do you stock up on your favorite foods? I don't, because I don't need extra, I have enough. I have so many favorite foods that my favorites change all the time, because I don't stock up on them! For instance, I used to eat yogurt, dolled up with raisins, sliced almonds, a bit of honey, brown sugar or jam, fresh fruit, oatmeal....oh, and a good pinch of salt, of course....lots of stuff! So I stopped buying more than one container at a time, and since not having it in the house, I moved on.....now I have yogurt that sits in the fridge for weeks at a time, until I use it for dressings or something other than psuedo ice cream.

Foods I don't currently have in my house, because if I did, I'd eat that food until every last bit, in one sitting, was gone. "Gone" means one serving, doesn't it?

Peanut butter. I only buy fresh ground PNB because I can dispense 2 tbls at a time and it costs about $ .36 I could eat PNB on all kinds of stuff including dried fruit, and veggies.....speaking of PNB....

Bread. I can't remember the last time I bought a loaf of sliced bread....years, I'm sure. Not that I haven't bought an occasional loaf of french bread, but I usually by the smallest one, (a mini), or a baguette. I've made pizzas....but I stopped.....again, if I buy it, or make it, I eat it.....all.

Raisins and prunes. Two of my favorite dried fruits are raisins and prunes.....natures candy! I only buy these in the bulk isle because, again, I can buy one or two servings only. If I buy more.....yep, I eat more. I'm not ashamed to say I eat prunes!

Flour. I don't keep more than 1-2 cups of flour in the house because if I get inspired to bake, then too bad for me! I gave up baking long, long ago. If I bake a batch of cookies, I'll eat a batch of cookies. If I bake a cake, I'll eat a cake.

Same with sugar. I only buy small amounts at a time.

I stopped buying popcorn. (remember kettlecorn?)

I stopped buying almond butter from Trader Joe's (5lb weight gain in 2008 when I gave up sugar for a month). And although I buy walnuts and almonds I don't dare buy peanuts (my #1 no-no).

I stopped buying ice cream in flavors that I like. Mark's favorites are completely different than mine, and I'm not tempted by his favorites....most of the time, lol!

I stopped buying more than one pkg of my favorite crackers....ok, I buy 2 pkg's....but never more than two!

I stopped buying the "healthy" multi grain corn chips. Chips are chips....too salty! If I'm going to eat salt, I'll eat cheese.....

I only buy more cheese when I completely run out. I never buy more than two different flavors and/or styles, even though the cheese dept always looks so dang yummy....so much cheese, so little time....

I have sometimes given into buying more fruit than I should, but I'm back on the wagon, limiting myself to only a pound or so, of any kind of fruit, at a time. And I routinely throw out, yep throw away, any peice of fruit that doesn't taste perfectly sweet. For some crazy reason the fruit this year sucks! There's at least a pound of grapes in the trash can right now, and I spit out 2 nectarines earlier today. I've thrown away more melons this year than I've eaten...no joke. Life is too short to eat bad fruit, or anything that tastes bad.

To me "junk foods" are sweets. I don't buy cookies without the intention of eating them all. I don't dare buy a cake, or donuts. I wrote a blogpost a while back about buying one of each kind of candybar at the gas station Mini Market, and I was triggered slightly the other day when I stopped for gas, but have not done it.

I saw a sign today announcing an annual Rummage Sale at a local high school.....I know for a fact they will be having a killer bake sale.....speaking of triggers....I started planning to drive by there tomorrow after my workout, even though it's on the other side of town.....whoops....

It occured to me recently that I've stopped binge eating. Not that I haven't had a binge or eaten "compulsively", but having "a moment" and "owning" a behavior are two different things. I used to think that I was a binge eater, and that I was a compulsive overeater, but not anymore. I will not give myself such a title. I will not own that description of myself....ever. Did I chose to stop overbuying some of my favorite foods, or did it choose me, once I made up my mind to let it go....?

Many times.....many times.....I find myself hovering over a certain food purchase, or stalking the candy isle, asking myself, should I, or shouldn't I? Most of the time I already know the answer....no, I always know the answer....if I buy it, I eat it! But for now I'm content on giving myself the option, and I do give myself the option....I can buy it, I can eat it.....whatever. I can make my own choices, afterall I'm a big girl, most days! But some days I'm just a little girl that didn't get enough candy, I mean food, I mean love....did I say that last part out loud?

....and then I remind myself....I have enough. I have enough candy, I have enough food, I have enough love.

Life is good.




PS My precious Sophi turned one year old yesterday! I took her for pictures in her birthday dress and out to lunch with Mommy. Sophi's party is in a couple of weeks...the theme is Sesame Street....where can I buy the biggest stuffed Elmo?
I've titled this photo "chocolate cake girl"! Her first taste of chocolate. Let me say this....her mother, Cristina, has been one of the best and most responsible young parents I have ever known. Cristina has never fed Sophi a bunch of crap in the name of convenience. This is Sophi's first taste of chocolate cake, and her next will be in a couple of weeks at her birthday party.


PPS Sophi is spelled correctly!

5 comments:

Diana said...

It's a great feeling when we can finally "walk past" what once sucked us in! I am only 12 days into being completely diet mountain dew FREE from my life, but it's a great feeling knowing that I choose not to drink it because I know I'm worth it!
I am starting to sense, even though it's early in the game, that I am going to beat it this time. I'm more important than the dew. My health and body have been through enough. I'm going to win this one. Hell, if I can lose 100lbs, pass the damn RKC, pass my "hang" test AND jump from a plane-this should be EASY!
PS/ I love prunes
PS/ I sooooo remember kettlecorn
PS/ I live in WI, I have cheese ALL the time!!
Love the chocolate picture!

Tracy Reifkind said...

Diana,

I'm so glad you get the point of this blogpost.

I caught a little bit, through reading your blog, about giving up "the Dew". If we believe something is standing in our way to good, or better health then we must make the necessary changes.

12 days Diet Dew clean and sober! Cool! When you share these types of personal challenges or goals it is truly inspirational. Thank you.

Bonnie Lefrak - www.bonnielefrak.com said...

I love this post. It speaks to me, and I appreciate your candor in revealing your truths. I echo many of the same issues and feelings.
In the end it comes down to personal integrity. Knowing what your triggers are, acknowledging them, managing them and moving beyond those things that only end up destroying your confidence, never mind your waist line. Thank you.

Tracy Reifkind said...

Bonnie,

I know the day will come when nothing "triggers" unwanted behavior. I think defining a behavior as "bad" gives it more energy and strength.

I want to get to that place of letting go of that label, "bad"....and I feel really close, and most days I don't even think in those terms.

"Integrity" now that's a word to ponder on....

Hanneke said...

Oh yes I know, you buy it you eat it!

I had to laugh when you wrote that you have no problem buying your husbands favorite flavor of ice cream. I am the same, I buy my husband vanilla flavor all the time because he likes it and I don't
Thank God he doesn't like Ben & Jerry's Phish food!!