Former Fat Girl....Claim to Fame

Here's the deal....the first 1-2 years after losing 120lbs, and looking, if I must say so myself, freakin' gr-reat...it was a blast seeing the look on the faces of people, I've never met, in shock (and horror) that a former fat girl can look so good....in freakin' fact, looking better than they did! I had a long time friend of mine actually say to me, I never thought I'd ever hear myself say, "I want to look like Tracy Reifkind!" That's a true statement.

For some reason the past couple of years I've tried to downplay my former Fat Girl self because the longer I maintain this weightloss, the more unimpressive it becomes. Kinda weird, but here's what I mean. The longer I stay thin, fit and athletic, the further from the truth it seems to be.

The Truth. I am a woman that spent most of her life overweight. Most of her life overweight when it wasn't "normal" to be overweight. I was the last one picked for any team sport in school, even though I showed some athletic abilities....drive and determination along with a bit of athletic talent, still no one wanted me. The "tough boys" targeted me in dodgeball, and most of my Elementary years were hiding in utter shame. In fact I think I was the only fat kid in school, all the way through high school, and that's one of the reasons, feeling alienated, that I dropped out of school only completing the 10th grade.

I was never asked to a dance, or even when I went to a dance with girlfriends, I was never asked to dance. I was judged as "less than" because of my weight. I could never wear clothes that other girls were wearing. I could only fantasize what it would feel like, playing with Barbie dolls until I was about 14 years old.

I'm even judged by my own mother....if I'm fat, then one of my other sisters becomes the favorite, but when I'm thin, my mother is much more proud that I'm her daughter.....(but she treats most of my sisters the same way too)

So, here I am. Just releasing my first DVD on training the kettlebell swing, and I still don't feel respected by lots of people in the kettlebell community, as I first did when my claim to such a tremendous weightloss seemed so impressive by many. Am I just imagining it? Am I still looked at as "the fat girl"? Because I let myself get so fat in the first place does that negate the fact that I've developed a training system, while I was losing the bodyweight, that is the one of the most effective ways of burning the most fat and calories while at the same time build the most amount of muscle that can be done....although it works, it's hard to do! You still have to swing the bell....alot! No one was using the term "high volume" when I started training kettlebells. In the process I become one of the healthiest and most fit people I know, not to mention that I still practice what I preach everyday of the week.....but what do I know? I just swing, right? (I've heard that said about me many times from different sources)

Training is hard, it's not for everyone. Cooking, preparing and being responsible for all of the foods and meals, daily, in ones life is not easy for most. But these things are easy for me because these are the things that get me out of bed in the morning. These are the things that I look forward to everyday, but especially on Mondays....my new favorite day (blogpost to come). There may come a day when I quit training, or have to quit training, but it will never take away what I know. I will never forget my experience and my discoveries about how to move toward, and acheive a healthy and strong body.

This is what I know. I don't really care about the "Skinny Minnies" of the world. I was tortured by their judgements all of my life. What I know is this....I was really fat for a long period of my life, but not anymore, being unpopular doesn't bother me....much. I'm still going to keep doing what I do, and maybe I'll start bragging about it more.

In the words of my completely devoted husband Mark, "You live the life of the rich and retired!" If I do two yoga classes in a day, it's my job. If I teach 4 kettlebell classes or do 1000 swings in one day, it's my job. If I spend the whole day prepping and cooking our food for the week, it's my job. And I have to thank this luxury in my life to being a "Former Fat Girl".

I will always been proud of my past, and if I have to play the "Former Fat Girl" card then so be it. But I'm feeling as if my "Claim to Fame" is still to be determined.....