Thursday, November 29, 2012
This past month I started attending a 5:30am yoga class looking for some kind of relief to the difficulty, I've had of late, for my lack of motivation in my Bikram's yoga practice. I was hoping if I didn't think about it much and just got my ass out the door and then I'd be finished by 7:00a,! It has seemed to worked in some part, but I've really missed my mornings at home when I find my creativity to write and cook at the highest point of my day.
One thing at a time I guess.
I think more important than feeling better about my actual physical practice, during a conversation I had with friend/yoga studio owner Mike Mayle, I heard myself say something that even surprised me! I was sharing my feelings about my practice and why I couldn't bring myself to just quit and look to replace it with something else, maybe another style of yoga, maybe even something else....not that I haven't already tried. There are two main reasons why I keep coming back.
#1 I'm good at my practice. I haven't felt like it recently, and maybe that's part of what's been causing some of the resistance. I don't train it as much as I used to, or I should say that I don't obsess about it as much as I used to! Since I'm not practicing as often I don't see much if any improvement, in fact I see the opposite....and I don't like getting worse at something, I like getting better at it! But I'm also aware of what could be at cause, or at least what is contributing to this feeling,
#2...and this is the important one.... Nothing else in a long time, besides training kettlebells, has made me feel like I want to train. I remember feeling like I couldn't wait to come back for the next class! I can see the progressions, I can work them, and I can make improvements that I will be able to see and feel. I can "train" this...and I wanted to! And kettlebell training compliments and supports this practice, for me.
This is the appeal that I think a lot of people that practice Bikram's also feel, I see it all the time, every time I'm in the yoga Studio. There is an intensity that I like and it draws me to it, and has for 6 years....in fact 6 years almost to the day! (I did my first practice ever Thanksgiving weekend 2006!). I also see this time and time again when I teach kettlebells. The same kind of excitement that comes from learning something that is relatively easy, but hard at the same time! The excitement that comes with feeling competent, finally (!), successful, and hopeful therefore bringing about a certain excitement about the confidence that when someone sees and feels the possibilities. With consistent training improvements that you can see and feel happen quickly!
I could list some of my negative things about my practice, but as I always say, a lot of thoughts are feelings and not facts. If I "feel" a certain negative way, it's my choice and I can choose to look at it, and feel a different way about it if I want to.