Friday, June 29, 2012

I trust you, I trust me. Trust yourself.

You don't have anything to prove to me, I trust you.  I trust that you know what you are doing.  I trust that you acknowledge that the world is not out to get you and that everything in your life is of your own creation.  And I trust that you know that you can change your mind whenever you want to.  You know you can change how you feel about anything at any time. Not a big deal.

Many times I hear people say how being fat sucked, or if they are still overweight how much it sucks!  But I disagree...kind of.  Sure the physical reality of carrying extra bodyweight can be a drag (literally), and there is nothing fun about many of the physical limitations and embarrassing, sometimes shameful, situations that come with obesity.  But if we could eat all the foods we wanted to, all the time, and it did not create becoming fat we would, at least some of us would, probably a lot of us would!  There is a joy to food and eating.  Not a big deal.


Personally I had a great time not worrying about my weight. In fact I probably worry more about it now than I did when I was over 250lbs.  I'm not saying that it was fun, being overweight, but I can remember plenty of times when I thought it was fun to over eat.  I'm pretty sure I can honestly say that it felt like fun to eat a lot of the foods I used to.  But then I changed my mind. Not a big deal.


I changed my mind when the fun of overeating put my life at risk.  Seriously, if I wasn't afraid of cutting my wonderful life short I'd probably still be fat.  I didn't lose weight to look good, or to prove anything to anybody, I lost weight to continue to have as much fun and happiness as I could.  Fun and happiness is what feels good, being fat wasn't fun and it didn't make me happy. I started doing other things that made me feel happy.  Eating less actually felt more fun. I always trusted that I knew what I had to do, and how to do it.  Not a big deal.


So much of the time we make things so hard on ourselves. I see it and hear it all the time.  So much pressure to be perfect, or "better than".  When we see things this way it's easy to give up and do nothing, to quit before we start.  Feeling as if losing weight is the start to a life long battle, or a fight we would have to face every day.  Feeling desperate, feeling hopeless.  Feeling like the best part of our lives has past, and it's too late.  These feelings for sure are not happy or fun.  


I met a woman yesterday who was probably close to 30 years old, small, shapely, "fit", she is a Pilates Instructor.  She was asking me about kettlebells in regards to her best friend that weighed over 200lbs.  During our conversation I made notice of the fact that she looked as if she had never been concerned about her own bodyweight, and that's when she calmly looked at me and said, 


"Yes, but I take care of myself."


It wasn't what she said, but how she said it.  Calmly.  Matter of factly.  As if she were telling me that her physique was not one of luck, it was one of consciousness.  It wasn't one of stress, obsession and judgement, it was simply one of wanting to feel a certain way, and following through with actions that created that feeling.


Hmmm....I wonder.....could it be that simple?  Can I just trust myself to take care of myself?  Yes, I think I can.  And I think you can too.  Not a big deal.



8 comments:

Stacee said...

<3

Kelsey Raposa said...

Hmmm. *Head Tilt Moment*

beverly said...

Strangely comforting and reassuring. Working on it.

Diana said...

Getting the mind and the body to connect perfectly is always hard. We need to make good choices always. We need to not ever regret what we've done in the past, for it's shaped (no pun intended) us for what we are now. We need to never blame outside things for our own thoughts and actions.
If we stop feeding our feelings then they'll stop controlling us!
Great post Tracy!

Tracy Reifkind said...

Stacee,

Not sure what your response is, but I understand that it may stand from not understanding the intention of what this blog post is about.

Tracy Reifkind said...

Kelsey,

I'm trying not to be a long story teller but I can see that this story in not complete yet. But tilting your head suggests thought an that's a start.

Tracy Reifkind said...

Beverly,

I want to agree that i'm still "working on it". I'm only trying to share trust and relaxation as opposed to "fighting" an "struggling". Some things are what they are until we change them. We can change things, can't we?

Tracy Reifkind said...

Diana,

When I say to myself that something is "hard" I quickly remind myself that "hard" is a feeling, not a fact.