Friday, September 13, 2013

I Need Some "Vent"-ilation!

It's Sept 13th and as I look back about 8 months ago, to January/Feb, I remember going along my life perfectly fine.  Nothing up until the first part of the year was amiss.  Crash, boom,'s getting hot in here!  Although it was the middle of winter the nights were so warm I found myself kicking the blankets off wondering if spring and summer were coming early!  Then I thought Mark was sweating on me!  Enter menopause.  Really?  It never occurred to me.  I had never ever, ever thought about it, talked about it, or expected it because I knew nothing about it.  Nothing, zero, zip, nada.  I was 49 1/2 years old, but never feeling my age it just never crossed my mind.  Once I realized what the heck was going on I just couldn't believe 

I haven't written too much about it because I'm still a little in shock about the whole thing.  So I'll fast forward to the other night.

I've been having hot flashes like crazy, and at this point it almost seems continuous all day and night.  It's really not a big deal most of the time, although I can't say that it's nice!  It affects me most in my Bikrams yoga practice.  It's already hot as hell in the yoga room but that's why I go, that's part of what I like!  I love the heat, I love to sweat, although I don't sweat easily...go figure!  I'm the one in the hottest corner of the yoga room, with long yoga pants on, many times in the past practicing with long sleeved shirts in the already 104 + degree room.  For many years I even had a double class practice, doing two back to back classes for a total of 3 1/2 hours in the heat!  I'm not scared of heat!  But add in this craziness and it's taking me to the edge!

The other night I was explaining (no, I was complaining!) to Mark how pissed off I was that for some reason, God only knows, someone thought this was a good idea?  For what?  For what purpose?  WHAT THE HECK?  What is this doing? What is this good for?  What is the freakin' reason?  It's stupid, it's just stupid.  And it's not like being healthy and active can reward you by relieving you of this BS.  ARGH, I was so mad! (maybe still a wee bit)

I knew as I was "venting" that I was not helping the situation AT ALL.  I knew the more miserable I let myself feel, the more miserable I would continue to feel.  I knew that the more I felt like a victim of this BS, the longer I would stay a victim of it.  So I started to think about other ways of looking at it and other ways of feeling about it.  I knew I had to find something, one thing, anything, positive about it.

My first idea was to write a Facebook post and just ask!  Ask if there was anybody in the whole Facebook world that felt something positive about hot flashes, or any of the other symptoms of menopause (anybody?  now's the time to speak up!).  There has to be somebody that can give me a positive spin on it so I can focus on feeling better, not commiserating about how much it sucks. I also did a internet search and came up with one article, "Making Friends With Hot Flashes"

So after my little pity party I decided no more!  Hot flashes/menopause you have no idea who you are dealing with!  I will embrace my life and everything in it, and you will not change that!  I came up with a positive thought to focus on every time I start to feel "flushed" and I already feel better....still hot, but better!

What about you, or some woman you know?  Or maybe you've got a man going through "man o pause? lol!  Life is funny, isn't it?


Judy said...

Tracy, I feel for you! I went into instant menopause 10 years ago after having a total hysterectomy (I was 40 at the time.) Some gynos will try antidepressants, which seem to help some women (I was already on them!.) Also, whenever I have processed sugar, I get them - hardly ever when I don't, which is most of the time. There are cool pillows that help, special fabric pjs that wick moisture away. They don't stop the flashes - just make it more tolerable.

Diana said...

Everyone will have their own "what works for me" statement. I think that's why we find menopause so frustrating, besides the obvious physical stuff of course, but we can't ever do whatever someone else did and get the same outcome. I was reading up on a supplement called Maca. It worked super, no make that spectacularly, for the hot flashes and the constant waking up several times throughout the night. Big downfall was, and I didn't know until too late was a side effect was weight gain. Holy shit truth to that~ a instant 30lbs within a month! Suck city. Then with that came depression due to working so hard to lose 120lbs and keeping it off to quickly see it build back up. That, as you know spiraled really deep to the point of suicidal tendencies. I used to be embarrassed to talk about this until I decided that to be transparent about it could help turn my mess into someone's message.
Everyone's menopause is just that~ there own!

Jen said...

so just like Judy I had surgical menopause at 36. I used to wake up in a pool of sweat. I went on bio-identical hormones which helped pretty well for a while and then I stopped using them for other reasons....but after a while no hot flashes...It seems that the non-surgical menopause will be more of a pain and last longer. Not having the periods has been a great plus... so there is your "silver lining" at least in my opinion!

Diana is right, everyone is different... but I know you and you will find a way to kick menopause's ass!!

Sending you cooling hugs!!