Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Stop It! And then Put Something Different Into Action.
Fill in the blank, and then stop it!
Mark posted this video on his facebook page after seeing it on MSFG Peter Lakatos's page. Do you think that men would find this example a bit funnier than a woman?
It may seem like an oversimplified "answer" to change so many feelings we accept as part of who we are. Maybe we were told from early on that we were a certain "way". Sure, there are "ways" we want to be, like honest, cheerful, giving, etc., but what about being lazy, fearful, down on yourself, "late", selfish, judgmental, etc.. One of my favorites is when someone, usually a family member, says "But that's just you! You've always been that way!" Or even worse when YOU say, "But that's who I am, I've always been that way."
I am aware of many habits, behaviors, and reactions that I want to change about myself, but they are less and less all the time the more often I remind myself that I have a choice. I move toward making those desired changes every time I hear myself make statements about "who I am", if it's different that what I want to be.
Habits, behaviors, and reactions, can change in an instant. I often hear people say habits are hard to break. In fact I had a client try and argue the fact that that was true because she read a book about how difficult changing habits has proven to be based on "studies" that said it was so!
I've changed many, many, a habit overnight and I'm sure the same could be said of every one reading these words.
I bit my fingernails down to the nubs until I was 14 years old. I had a girlfriend that always wore frosty pink nail polish and I thought it looked so pretty. I wanted to wear frosty pink nail polish, so I stopped biting my nails...overnight. Done, never again did I bite my fingernails, and now I have the beautiful fingernail that I have to literally file down every week! I could have just given in to the fact that I was a "nail biter".
When I decided to lose 100lbs I knew fast food could not be an option. I gave it up, overnight, cold turkey. I could have defended my love for fast food, but nope, that wasn't me anymore.
The things you do, the things you are, are a choice. If there are things you want to change then you don't have to buy into thinking "it's just you". Stop it. Don't own it. Just because something was doesn't mean that it always has to be.
You don't have a "problem", you have choice.
You don't have an "issue", you have a choice.
You don't have to "fight" or "struggle", you have a choice to feel differently.
You can change if you want to.
You can change if you want to.
Quit talking about what you want to change and start to move in the direction of it. Quit boring yourself and your friends with what you are going to do and just do it. One foot in front of the other, a small step or a giant leap. No part of feeling improvement, no part of feeling relief is too small.
I'll leave you with this:
If I were a sculptor and I had a vision to create a grand statue it would only stay a vision, a dream, unless I put chisel to stone. I must put chisel to stone to be a sculptor. If I don't then I'm only a talker, and dreaming of being a sculptor. To BE a sculptor, to BE a creator, I must take action and put chisel to stone. Will I become the next Michelangelo? Maybe not, but maybe....who cares? I only care to be a creator. Without action I am only a dreaming of being a creator.
My training, my workouts, my food and my thoughts, are my chisel, and my body my stone.
Yes, changing how you think is key, but you have to follow through with the changes. You must act on your new definition what you want to be, and who you are.