Since this subject kind of piggy-backs off of the last blog post, I thought I'd write about it now....
This past spring and summer my bodyweight was higher than I said I wanted it to be, I tried not to "bitch" the situation, but I certainly didn't keep it a secret. Most disturbing to me however, than the number on the scale, was my frustration about not having the motivation to do what I knew it was going to take to stop doing the things....or should I say, stop eating the things I knew were keeping me from....again.....having what I said I wanted. It wasn't until Mark said to me one day "Well, I know what I would do if I were you", that it hit me like a ton of bricks because I knew exactly what he meant by what he had just said.....what he meant was that he would take the scienticfic approach by calculating, exactly, what it was that he needed to do to lose the weight.....and here's the important part.....and then he would do it!
He wasn't telling me how to do it, but the meaning of his words challenged me to do it! Do you get it? So I calculated exactly what I was eating, created a formula to lose, and guess what? I lost the weight I said I wanted to. But.....I only visited that bodyweight for a while, I didn't move in, lol!
Of the 10 lbs I lost, my current eating style has increased my maintanence bodyweight by about 5 lbs.....I don't need to post the exact number, you can do the math if you want to.
So what do I mean by my "current eating style"? Well, I've decided that "not eating" is not an option. Keeping my calories as low as I need to maintain a bodyweight of under 130lbs is not how I want to live right now.....and that's OK! In the mean time I'll enjoy my extra cream in my morning coffee, and an occasional See's candy binge.....a PNB buttercream frosted brownie, and what the hell, a bottle of wine with my husband on a Saturday night!
I guess my point is to decide what you are willing to do, and what your not willing to do and take responsiblity if you decide not to change it. Enjoy that bag of cookies, that supersized soda, laying on the couch watching your favorite TV show, enjoy your life, the life you're choosing. When you're ready to change it, for whatever reason, then change it. In the meantime don't wish things were different if you're not willing to put in the action for change, don't blame, don't cry (OK, you can cry a little, I did) because it's fine. So if you don't weigh what you say you want to weigh, or if you don't look the way you say you want to look, you're choosing the trade-off. Who said "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"? Life is not always black or white. (did I say that? lol)
In the words of one of my yoga teachers, Cindy, "Love where you are, because wherever you are is a great place to be!", and loving where you are is always an option.
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5 comments:
Thank you Tracy! The timing is so perfect, I have a friend who has been struggling with her body weight. She says she wants to change, then turns around and makes food choices that are contrary to meeting those goals. This just makes her more sad and frustrated. I tried to tell her the choice is hard. Each moment at first will seem to be a choice as you break old patterns of relating to food. She keeps saying she wants the change but doesn't act on it. She is in a bit of a downward spiral and it's hard to stand-by and watch. Ultimately, I can only give her advice and offer tools, she must make it happen for herself. Any words of wisdom I could give her would be great!
Tara,
My first response would be that in this blogpost are my words of wisdom....and the last two years I spent writing about this very subject on my other blog....if you want to take the time and read some of the archives.....you might not like what else I have to say, lol!
But you asked.....First of all, I believe that no one "struggles with bodyweight", what they "struggle with" (and I hate that word "struggle") is eating! If they didn't overeat, bodyweight would not be a "struggle". Food is not the enemy, eating is, and we are in control of that, until we find a way to manufacture foods so they jumps into our mouths and force their way down our throats, lol!
You call them "old patterns" I call them "habits"...same thing....anyway, just like people choose the foods they eat, or overeat, they also choose to feel sad and frustrated. Recognize it's a choice....which is another point of this blogpost, one I have written about many times before.
When I choose to overeat, and I know I'm not going to stop, I change my attitude about it and focus on enjoying every single bite as not to waste any of my time on bad feelings. I remind myself of how lucky I am to be eating these yummy cookies, or this yummy ice cream or even an extra serving of oatmeal...yum, yum!
But I think the real issue is that for whatever reason, your "friend" likes to be a victim, like many others looking for sympathy and someone to commiserate with. I have little time or patience for anyone that really doesn't want to help themselves, which is one of the reasons I rarely even take the time to write such a lengthy response to a comment like this....I'm too tired of being everyone freakin' cheerleader....especially if I'm not getting paid! lol
No one was my freakin' cheerleader, no one had to meet me at the walking trail to practically hold my freakin' hand to get me to start exercising!
No one is cheering my ass in a 30 degree garage gym at 4:45am in the freakin' morning snatching Max Vo2. No one is cheering me on as I wash all the pots and pans I use when I cook and prepare my own homemade foods.
There's only so much you can do, and then it's your responsibility to cut your loses (your time loses) and focus on the friends, family and clients you CAN help. People can be alone in their misery, don't drag me down....
Sorry if these weren't the wise words you needed, but I needed to say them.
It is good to have an end to journey to, but it is the journey that matters, in the end!
Diana,
I think we go on many journeys, and as one ends, another begins.
I went on a trip, a trip that landed me at 250lbs, I stayed for a while, and then I came home.....
I have the luxury now to take smaller trips but always returning home.
Great post Tracy!
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