Sunday, December 13, 2009

"Skinny" is Making the Whole World Miserable

This is the cover of a Hallmark Shoebox Greeting Card that my friend Sabina gave me last week....isn't it hilarious?

What's not hilarious is how miserable the quest to be considered "skinny" in these current times, in our culture, in many cultures, is.

Mark has said to me, more than once...."It was better (easier) when you were fat."

Good Lord.
Am I that miserable of a person? Sometimes.

He didn't mean any harm, that I know. I also know what he meant by saying something like that. It must be hard to live with someone who insists on torturing themselves by defining their worth by the number on the scale. Not just me, but Mark has been working one-on-one as a personal trainer for many, many years, and alot of his clients have been women who have had the same self torture of, not only the number on the scale, but how big their thighs measured, and how many calories they can eat without getting fat...fat-ter, etc.....

Trying to be, trying to feel, skinny is making us, and the people who love us, miserable.
What is Skinny anyway? Skinny is skinny! Seriously, who wants to be skinny? Anorexics, that's who! OK, I admit to having feelings of being jealous of messed up am I? I'm not anymore messed up than anyone else.....if I truly believed it....but I don't...not really.
I happen to know some skinny people....guess what? They hate themselves just as much as anyone for not being skinny that justice? I'll humor myself and say, "Yes!"

Listen to happy music and be light with yourself......sing this to yourself......this is for you.....this is about you....


Laura Sacks, RKC said...

Really, really great blog, Tracy. It's so true; Doug and I have talked about this a lot. You will find very, very few people who are truly happy with their bodies, and many who are miserable because they aren't what they think they should be. People are never happy with what they have, not completely.

Just gotta look in the mirror every so often and say, "I love you".

Thanks for posting this. =)

Tracy Reifkind said...


You hit the nail on the head....I really feel as if everytime you look in the mirror you HAVE to like what you see.....and if you like what you see, then the worst thing can only be that "you like what you see"!

Everything else follows loving yourself, and liking what you see.

kettlebells_n_sunshine said...

Tracy, I had the pleasure of meeting you at dinner at the first HKC in MN. You are a beautiful, funny and vibrant person - so full of life. And I actually did hear Mark say that it was easier "when you were fat".
I have always been a fat girl, still I am thick in the middle. I have finally gotten past the scale and the irrational need to be a size 2 because someone says that I should be.
The kb was handed to me by my boyfriend a year and a half ago and it changed my life in more ways than imaginable, it even took me into a new career path.
Its hard to let go of images society wants us to embrace for women, but I can look around at the women I train with and see such beauty that it overwhelms me.
I continue to pick up my kb and practice and share it with others so that they too can know the beauty of being strong.
Bret & Gray did the video on the TGU (my favorite move) and they remind us of the kalos sthenos or beautiful strength that we all possess.
What I think we need to do more often is to embrace it.
I find you yourself they way that others love you... keep up the inspiration...
Happy Holidays to you and yours!

Mark Reifkind said...

You make me smile,love, whatever you weigh :))

Tracy Reifkind said...

Hi Jennifer!

Talk about the KB changing someones life more than ever! I can relate...and talk about new career paths....who knew we'd both be teaching, and preaching, to others the miracle that has come into our lives.

I spent my teen years in the late 70's, and early 80's, when a totally flat tummy....good Lord, a "concave" stomach was the ideal, not to mention pencil thin was the beginning of the "Super Model". I remember turning sideways in the mirror, daily, to see if I had a flat tummy....thinking by some miracle, during the night, God would grant me this perfect body.....(which my sister had BTW....damn her).

Anyway, I think we also have to be careful of what defines "strong". As I mentioned to Laura Sacks (above), I've been posting videos and of course my training routines and workouts for a few years now, also watching and reading what others are doing, and sometimes we get caught up in the competition of who can lift, swing, snatch, press, squat the biggest bell for the most times, in the shortest amount of time......goodness I'm tired of the comparisons!

I just want everyone to show up and train regularly! To share one of my favorite "Rifism's", I may not out lift them, but I'll outlast them!".....don't give up, show up.

Roy Zornow said...

Great post.

This may sound strange but I want to express a little support for Mark here. I too was in a relationship with a beautiful woman who did not always see herself that way. She was intrinsically beautiful no matter what the scale said.

I knew that there was part of her that felt that my undconditional support was a threat to her quest for thinness, which in her mind equated to psychological survival.

I don't think you are in that state, please don't get me wrong. But I can tell you it is a lonely feeling not be able to help when a loved one is going through feelings like this.