I've been kinda busy.......

This last weekend was the San Jose RKC, and although I spent much less time "crashing" it than normal I made it on Sunday in time to see the first ever (I believe) indoor "grad workout". The weather the week before the Cert was unusually wet and stormy, but Friday and most of Sat. was dry and clear (cold, but dry and clear), until Sunday!

I never miss an opportunity to watch and listen to my brilliant husband teach and lecture, as well as gather motivation, inspiration, and energy from all of the potential RKC's training their asses off for three days, but this year I had to put my priorities in order! As well as getting ready to have a houseguest stay with us, from Tampa FL, for 4 days, while she was assisting at the Cert, Mark and I went to the Meet and Greet Thursday night, I hosted a cooking lesson Friday night, managed to make it to double yoga classes on Th, F, and Sun, in addition to only one yoga class on Sat. and teaching and swinging KB's Sat afternoon for 2 hours! Good Lord, I didn't get one afternoon nap for 4 days!

By the time Sunday night came around I couldn't open a bottle of wine fast enough! Mark and I celebrated a great and busy weekend while I made a pot of chili in the PC. And just when I thought I could gt back to my regular routine......I got sick as a dog Monday! I actually stayed in bed until 10:30am (I got up breifly to take my houseguest to the airport @ 5am), and I couldn't train at all....nothing, no KB's, no yoga, no walk.....nothing! I can't remember the last time I took a day off.....but that was yesterday. Now it's time to swing some bells for 20-30 minutes, get to 7:15am yoga, and then back again this afternoon for the 4:30 class.

Good Lord I love my life.

food choices.....cont. (Warm Cabbage Apple Slaw and Brussel Sprout Soup)

So, Saturday night I followed through with my original plan to make a warm slaw of red cabbage and apples. I was inspired by this recipe on one of my favorite food blogs, since I always have cabbage and apples it was easy for me to throw together. (Her picture is much more appetizing than mine, lol!)

http://www.kitchentablescraps.com/2009/01/warm-cabbage-and-apple-slaw.html

Leftover pork roast with roasted veg and cabbage and apple slaw....and wine! The only change I'd make would be to cut the red cabbage into thinner strips. Recipes are only guides anyway, what's important is to recognize that this recipe has a base veg, sweetness (apple and raisins), fat (oil), acid, (cider vinegar), and the all important S & P! What else do you need? Nothing fancy, even the spices this recipe suggests are basics, and not even neccessary.

As I mentioned earlier I can't eat, nor can any of us eat, all the different kinds of foods that are available. In fact last year at this time I was roasting brussels on a regular basis , and this year I hadn't bought or prepared one freakin' brussel spout, lol! So I decided to change that and bought a couple pounds of them at the market the other day.

I used about 2/3 of them to make Brussel Sprout Soup.....

oil / butter

onion

brussels

chicken stock

Saute first 3 ingredients, add stock, cook until soft enough to puree in blender, season with S&P, puree in blender. Can it get easier? I didn't even put garlic OR jalapeno in this one, LOL! Yes, you can roast the brussels first, or you can make this soup with leftover roasted brussels, in fact I could have thrown some of the leftover roasted potatoes and rutabagas in from my previous meal and made a different version of soup. You can add milk or cream at the end, although I can't imagine why because it's plenty "creamy", or you can top it with some melty cheese, etc......make it your own.

I'll use the rest of the brussels sliced thin, for another version of a warm salad, or I'll simply add them to my salad mix....I'm thinking bacon for the warm salad idea! (PS, this soup was so yummy, I'll be making more soon!)

food choices.....cont.

With all of the "infinite food choices" I have in the freakin' universe I thought I would share with you what I chose yesterday.....

Food journal Friday, 4/13

coffee/cream (duh!)
chocolate
pork

Basically chocolate and pork, how good is my life, lol! I did end up roasting some potatoes and rutabaga with the pork roast, but never made the warm red cabbage and apple salad I had planned in my head..... Even though today is Valentines Day, I got the chocolate out of my system yesterday, but today, leftover pork with the salad I had planned and a glass of wine with my sweetheart!

Infinite Food Choices

I can't seem to ever write a short blog post, but I'm going to try, because I just don't have much time these days.....

I food shop less than ever, and I haven't been to the farmers market in weeks, if not a couple of months because I have an infinite number of food choices at any given time with few fresh ingredients and few pantry items....I can't seem to eat everything I have. I realize that I don't have a family to cook for, but when I cook, I cook "family size", that's why my freezer is always packed with food at the ready.....I still have fresh summer tomato soup and zucchini soup made with corn stock.....good Lord, even a Cherimoya from my trip to Santa Barbara last May!

I rarely, if ever, use recipes, because I think the best foods are the simplest of foods and if I read a recipe with more than 4-6 ingredients I pass on it. For instance, I'm going to be making a large pork roast this afternoon, and I come across many recipes (I still like reading them, lol) for all kinds of marinades, rubs, brines, blah, blah, blah, and although most of that stuff is super tasty, and fun to try, by reading the ingredients I already know what it's going to taste like, do I really need to take the extra time to measure out marinade ingredients, or shop for special fresh herbs I don't already have in my fridge, when I always have salt and pepper....you don't need anything else for a good peice of meat, after salt and pepper anything is a bonus! And if I have other stuff, I'll use it, but I don't have the time or energy most times for an extra effort that won't make my food taste "better", just different.

Ok, I will be roasting pork this afternoon with simple salt and pepper, I could rub it down with some olive oil and garlic too, and I might, because I always have those ingredients too, but I started to think of what else I could serve with it. What's the simplest? Mashed potatoes are easy (again, if you want to make them fancy, add garlic cloves in the water along with the potatoes for garlic mashed, or toss some parmesean, and/or fresh herbs at the end, OR add carrots for carrot, potaoto mash, OR turnips, rutabaga, parsnip......good Lord who needs a freakin' recipe, LOL!), but roasted veggies with, again, oil, salt and pepper, will be my choice, because the oven is already going to be on, and who wants to dirty an extra pot?

I want to write more about the infinite food choices we have, but I've got to get to my 7:15am yoga class, so more to come.....maybe I can write more when my roast is in the oven, lol!

PS ingredients like.......olive oil, garlic, onion, carrot, celery, stock / broth, cream, butter, lemon / vinegars, don't count in my 4-6 ingredients "rule" as these things are always on hand, and should be a "given" as the start and end to 99% of all recipes.

One more thing......

In my last blogpost about appreciating where you are, I was thinking about when I was fat and how much I didn't appreciate being fat! I used the example of looking at old pictures of ourselves and seeing how we thought we were fat at the time, when in actuality we were not....well, it goes the other way too! When I look at my fat pictures I think, "Good Lord! How freakin' lucky was I that I got to eat anything and everythig I wanted!" I mean really, it's true!

Can you imagine? Eating anything and everything you want? Maybe you do that now! If you do, and you're fat, then enjoy the eating part! When you decide it's not that enjoyable anymore, or that something else may be more enjoyable....say, a smaller, healthier body, then change it.

I pretty much eat everything I want to now, the difference is that now I want, and chose different foods. Sure, sometimes I want a pint of ice cream, a bag of cookies, a pound of chocolates (all at the same time, lol!), and the way I eat most of the time and my commitment to exercie allows that.

So, although I never bitched about being fat, I never said things like "I wish I wasn't fat", because I knew it was my own doing, and I knew how to change it if I wanted to, in fact I always said things like, "I know exactly why I'm fat!", and "I know how to diet, I just don't want to!", I accepted it, but I didn't appreciate it. And I'm not saying appreciate being fat, I'm saying appreciate the good parts of whatever your situation is.

That's all.

If You Can't Be with the One You Love, Honey, love the one you're with!

The kinder, gentler words of wisdom to my last blogpost would be these words, and that really is the message. The words to that song always humored me, and I never thought I would interpret those words to be about myself, the "skinny" me, or the "perfect me" I'm waiting to love, while missing out on enjoying and appreciating what I have, and who I am right now. The message is to love yourself wherever you are.....250 lbs, 200 lbs, 188 lbs, 165 lbs. 138 lbs, 120 lbs.......



Remember when we look back at old photos of ourselves and say, "I can't believe how skinny I was...and I thought I was fat!" Or, " Look at how young I was." If you don't appreciate where you are right now, tomorrow could be worse! You will never be as young as you are right at this moment....never! Each moment that goes by we lose forever, and then what? Good Lord! Mark just reminded me that everyone is going to get old and die, or die young! You are never guaranteed another breath. There will always be someone skinnier than you.....someone prettier, smarter, richer, younger, but there will never be anyone luckier than you, if you see it that way!



I don't like getting caught up in the number on the scale, but this makes a point.....this past summer my bodyweight was 138lbs-140lbs. I remember at one time, jokingly, saying, "Good Lord, if I saw 134lbs on the scale I would hang myself"(or God freakin' forbid higher, lol), .....pretty harsh isn't it? Can you imagine? For words like that to even come out of my mouth! We are our own worst emenies, our own Judge and jury.



Looking back, I could say I wasted alot of time and energy throwing myself a pity party, but we can all find ourselves focusing on the wrong things.....how else do we grow? If we never experience "bad", how can we experience "good"? I used to think weighing 134lbs was "bad", and now I know better! I love weighing 134lbs, because that means I don't weigh 140lbs, but so what if I did? Gratitude isn't dependant on your bodyweight.... or the number of wrinkles on your face, or the balance of your bank account.....


Although I'm tired of hearing these catch phrases like "Live in the moment", "Be present", blah, blah, blah, you can't deny that we have the choice of the things we focus on. At each moment I can change the focus of "woulda, coulda, shoulda", to "I'm going to, I will, I am....right now!", not tomorrow, and not if things were different......things are what they are, and that's OK. Be happy, not because of your circumstances, but sometimes in spite of your circumstances.

That's all.

I Can't Be Everyones Cheerleader, but you can try if you want to

Since I felt that this comment left for me on my last blogpost needed some explaining I decided to make it into a blogpost in itself!

Tara Robertson said...

Thank you Tracy! The timing is so perfect, I have a friend who has been struggling with her body weight. She says she wants to change, then turns around and makes food choices that are contrary to meeting those goals. This just makes her more sad and frustrated. I tried to tell her the choice is hard. Each moment at first will seem to be a choice as you break old patterns of relating to food. She keeps saying she wants the change but doesn't act on it. She is in a bit of a downward spiral and it's hard to stand-by and watch. Ultimately, I can only give her advice and offer tools, she must make it happen for herself. Any words of wisdom I could give her would be great!
February 2, 2009 8:51 AM

Tracy Reifkind said...
Tara,

My first response would be that my words of wisdom are in this blogpost....and the last two years I spent writing about this very subject on my other blog....if you want to take the time and read some of the archives.....you might not like what else I have to say, lol!

But you asked.....First of all, I believe that no one "struggles with bodyweight", what they "struggle with" (and I hate that word "struggle") is eating! If they didn't overeat, bodyweight would not be a "struggle". Food is not the enemy, eating is, and we are in control of that, until we find a way to manufacture foods so they jump into our mouths and force their way down our throats, lol! You call them "old patterns" I call them "habits"...same thing....anyway, just like people choose the foods they eat, or overeat, they also choose to feel sad and frustrated. Recognize it's a choice....which is another point of this blogpost, one I have written about many times before.

When I choose to overeat, and I know I'm not going to stop, I change my attitude about it and focus on enjoying every single bite, so I don't waste any of my time on bad feelings. I remind myself of how lucky I am to have such an abundance of food, how lucky I am to be eating these yummy cookies, or this yummy ice cream or even an extra serving of oatmeal...yum, yum!

But I think the real issue is, that for whatever reason, your "friend" likes to be a victim, like many others, looking for sympathy and someone to commiserate with. I have little time or patience for anyone that really doesn't want to help themselves, which is one of the reasons I rarely even take the time to write such a lengthy response to a comment like this....I'm too tired of being everyone freakin' cheerleader....especially if I'm not getting paid! lol

No one was my freakin' cheerleader, no one had to meet me at the walking trail to practically hold my freakin' hand for 2 + miles to get me to start exercising! No one is cheering my ass in a 30 degree garage gym, at 4:45am in the freakin' morning, snatching Max Vo2. No one is cheering me on as I wash all the pots and pans I use when I cook and prepare my own homemade foods, because I don't own a dishwasher!

There's only so much you can do, and then it's your responsibility to cut your loses (your time loses) and focus on the friends, family and clients you CAN help. some people like acting miserable, feeling miserable, so let them be alone in their misery, don't drag me down....Sorry if these weren't the wise words you needed, but I needed to say them.

February 2, 2009 2:09 PM

PS Mark just said to me, "You're on a roll, honey....a cranky roll!" lol

Not Eating is Not an Option, and that's OK!

Since this subject kind of piggy-backs off of the last blog post, I thought I'd write about it now....

This past spring and summer my bodyweight was higher than I said I wanted it to be, I tried not to "bitch" the situation, but I certainly didn't keep it a secret. Most disturbing to me however, than the number on the scale, was my frustration about not having the motivation to do what I knew it was going to take to stop doing the things....or should I say, stop eating the things I knew were keeping me from....again.....having what I said I wanted. It wasn't until Mark said to me one day "Well, I know what I would do if I were you", that it hit me like a ton of bricks because I knew exactly what he meant by what he had just said.....what he meant was that he would take the scienticfic approach by calculating, exactly, what it was that he needed to do to lose the weight.....and here's the important part.....and then he would do it!

He wasn't telling me how to do it, but the meaning of his words challenged me to do it! Do you get it? So I calculated exactly what I was eating, created a formula to lose, and guess what? I lost the weight I said I wanted to. But.....I only visited that bodyweight for a while, I didn't move in, lol!

Of the 10 lbs I lost, my current eating style has increased my maintanence bodyweight by about 5 lbs.....I don't need to post the exact number, you can do the math if you want to.

So what do I mean by my "current eating style"? Well, I've decided that "not eating" is not an option. Keeping my calories as low as I need to maintain a bodyweight of under 130lbs is not how I want to live right now.....and that's OK! In the mean time I'll enjoy my extra cream in my morning coffee, and an occasional See's candy binge.....a PNB buttercream frosted brownie, and what the hell, a bottle of wine with my husband on a Saturday night!

I guess my point is to decide what you are willing to do, and what your not willing to do and take responsiblity if you decide not to change it. Enjoy that bag of cookies, that supersized soda, laying on the couch watching your favorite TV show, enjoy your life, the life you're choosing. When you're ready to change it, for whatever reason, then change it. In the meantime don't wish things were different if you're not willing to put in the action for change, don't blame, don't cry (OK, you can cry a little, I did) because it's fine. So if you don't weigh what you say you want to weigh, or if you don't look the way you say you want to look, you're choosing the trade-off. Who said "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"? Life is not always black or white. (did I say that? lol)

In the words of one of my yoga teachers, Cindy, "Love where you are, because wherever you are is a great place to be!", and loving where you are is always an option.

Don't Bitch

I'm having one of those days......

Don't bitch about your waistline if you;

Bake and eat homemade loaves of zucchini bread along with a fruit and nut tart. Afterall, zucchini is a vegetable, there's nothing wrong with fruit, and nuts are "good fats" aren't they?

Can't force yourself to go on a daily 20 minute walk, which doesn't cost you a penny by the way.

Refuse to journal your food for one day, instead, choosing to stay in denial about the actual amount of calories your shoving in you mouth.

Won't stop eating out, and making excuses for why you can't prepare and bring you own lunches.

Won't swing a kettlebell for 5 minutes, twice a week (OK about 15 minutes....)

Would rather be a victim of "low self-esteem"....what does that really mean anyway?

Not counting that nightly bottle of wine as a possible reason for not losing weight.

Won't change that "low carb" diet, you have been on for years now, that hasn't resulted in any weightloss, instead just annoying your friends with the fact that YOU don't eat bread or pasta, but you will eat a bag of Oreo's when you get home...."double stuff", lol!

Focus on "not losing muscle", which you have plenty to lose carrying all that extra weight around on your back everyday of the week.

Go on a "diet" without taking into consideration if you can eat that way for the rest of your life.....if you can't, then it won't work.

Expect to weigh less eating the same amount of food that's keeping you at this current bodyweight.

Keep doing the same things but expecting different results......