Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I Never Want to be a Drag

I remember when I first started my blog a few years ago, I had come across another blog (before everyone had a blog, lol!) called "3 Fat Chicks", it may still be out there, but anyway, it was started by 3 sisters about their weightloss experiences. Two of the sisters had gastric bypasses, and one had lost weight the traditional way by diet (I can't say exercise, because I don't remember, but dieting for sure), and they were successful at first, but slowly, I think, all of them had put back on a significant amount of weight, even the gastric bypass sisters. I remember thinking to myself, after reading what one of the sister had wrote about her feelings of depression, fatique, and defeat how depressed , tired and unmotivated I started to feel! I thought, "Good Lord! Could I ever admit defeat on such a public forum, after riding the high of successfully losing alot of weight? And what good does that do?" I remember thinking......"I never want to be a drag like that."

Fast forward......

Although I haven't been checking in on other blogs, the last time I did, I followed a bloglink from someone elses blog and came across another obsessive compulsive woman blogging every morsel of food she ate, every fraction of a pound she weighed, and every negative thought she had about her body......Good Lord I never want to be a drag like that. That's when I stopped recording my exact food and weight. I did start my own personal blog, open to no one but me to write all of that crap down, but I rarely even post there anymore.

I have no idea what is going to become of this blog, but what I do know is that I never want to be a drag. My last blog post wasn't about defeat, it wasn't about the exact amount of my bodyweight, it wasn't about how I'm a victim of my compulsions or of food, it was about moving forward, it was about living in awareness, it was about having no judgement. So what, I've had the habit of overeating in a compulsive way in my past, it doesn't define who I am.....more to come, but I'm late for 12noon yoga with my sweetie......I'll be back

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