Monday, April 6, 2009

I just want to feel good

When did I start trying to turn every part of my life into a metaphor? When did every word I spoke have multiple meaning depending on some answer I may be looking for, some "sign" that I'm doing things right, or as a warning I'm not.....or why I'm not....I never wonder why I do things right, only when I don't, lol! And what is wrong and what is right....what are the answers I'm looking for? How to be perfect is the first thought I have when asking myself that question. Good God, being conscious of the choices I make for my life is one thing, but living in fear of saying the wrong words, decoding every move I make and missing the answers given in "signs" is starting to work my last nerve! I just want to feel good.

Why, why, why?......I'm tired of asking the questions, I'm tired of looking for the answers. It's time to lighten the load.....hmmnn, "lighten the load".....what does that mean? Just kidding, but seriously.....I've gotten to the age where I want to throw everything out and start over. Hmmnn, start everything over.....what does that mean? Is my age, or is it something else? I think it's age! We only have so much time.....only so much time in a day, only so much time in a life. Clearing out the "chatter", the "clutter", the things and people in our lives that drain our energy. Hmnn, maybe that's something draining me or energizing me? Interesting..... OK, today I'll do things that energize me, and try to recognize when I let the things I do or say drain me, and turn them into postives.....

This is what I know about today....

Kettlebells in 10 minutes....good thing.

Make some veg soup.....good thing.

Clean my house before yoga....good thing (a clean house feels good!).

Scheduled appt with a friend to do her nails and pedicure.....draining, but I'll have to change my attitude about it and turn it into a positive....afterall, I've already made the commitment, so at least I can feel good about keeping my commitments.

Taking in my back screen door to be re-screened, (those freakin' cats!)....a good thing.

Making resevations for a trip down South next weekend.....good thing.

I have so much free time and I'm lucky to recognize it!....good thing.

Although I'm tempted to go back and do a 4:30 yoga class (my second for the day), instead I'll spend my time with Mark.....good thing! He can help me medicate the cats for fleas.....definitely a good thing!

Changing my attitude about things I may see as draining, or not 'good things" will be my focus today....afterall I have to put on some tight yoga clothes and find a way to feel good about it, lol!

Life is good, feel good about it.


Diana said...

I can't even begin to say how many screen doors I've had re-screened from the cats!

Life IS good, death is permanent!
Now being healthy, I fear death more than ever, whereas being fat, I never gave it a thought! Go figure that one!

Tracy Reifkind said...


It's just a given at my house to have the back screen door done once a year. This year it came early though because my little cat Petunia (aka Tuna) pushed out the bottom portion and escaped into the freedom of the backyard, lol!

It so interesting how differently people think....what motivated me to lose the weight was fear of dying too early....and in a painful, uncomfortable way. Now that I'm fit and healthy I never think about dying. I guess I feel so freakin' grateful to have it so good right now that if I died I couldn't have any complaints!