Word Play

I admit I get way caught up in word play trying to avoid negative thought proccesses. I've written blogposts about words I hate like, "struggle", "issue", "fight", and especially the word "hate".....I hate that word, it sounds so hateful! I even have a problem with the word problem! So now this word "abstinence"......

Abstinence: Self-denial suggests resisting one's own desires for the achievement of a higher goal.

Resisting.....not allowing....

Should we focus on what we feel we can't or don't have, or can we see it in others ways?

Letting go.....allowing.....

Focus on what we do and can have.

I am starting to remind myself that it's not the "word", it's the feelings behind the words. In a previous blogpost I wrote about how we choose to feel about dieting....when we are motivated in a positive way restricting calories seems easy, effortless, rewarding, but when we see it as deprivation, resisting, punishment, it's practically impossible to do.....and therefore can start a vicious cycle.....a backward, downward vicious cycle.

What I do know for me is when I feel anxious I feel stress, and when I feel stressed I feel weak, and when I feel weak I give up. Anxiety is the first sign of moving in the wrong direction. Anxiety is what can trigger compulsive behavior (for me).

For now, the way I feel about having to practice any sort of "abstinence" in the sense of depriving myself doesn't make me feel good. If I can see abstaining as a way of rewarding then I can feel good about the trade-offs......just trying to figure this stuff out......

I've got tons of stuff to do before 12noon yoga, so I'm off.....

PS I had such a great day yesterday considering I got my teeth cleaned (I dread the Dentist office, lol) I had the luxury of practicing 2 back to back Bikram yoga classes, 30 minutes of Max V02 training with Mark around 1pm, and then teaching a KB swing class at Equinox in Palo Alto, which it looks as if I'll be teaching morning classes at during the week!