OK, so I'm in our local discount gas station known as "Rotten Robbies" paying for a fill up....it must be named this because of the huge selection of candy bars that will rot your teeth if you eat them all, lol! Do I care? Nope! I want one of every single damn candy bar they stock....it's a fantasy of mine, destined to become reality.....soon! Oh, I'm a big talker, but the reality is, I know if I buy one of every single candy bar in the store, after I eat a few candy bars I'll get sick, take a break, eat more, get sick, take a break, eat more, get sick, take a break, eat more......afterall I hate to "waste" or throw anything out.....(let's not mention the crazy ass sugar high I'll be on....what will I feel like the next day?)
Any bets?
The point of this story is....well there's a few points....
I haven't been binge eating, not really. Another part of bingeing is compulsive eating, and I haven't been doing much of that either. Why not? Well, when I have the energy to reflect on my thoughts about it I'll share, but in the mean time one of the things I've done is to just relax. I can have anything I want, when I want it, and food will never run out, in fact I have too much food....I've gotta stop telling myself that or it wil always be true. I don't want to have too much food, I want to have just enough.
And, you know what? So what if I eat a thousand candy bars? Good Lord, it's my life. It's just one day in my life. God made those candy bars for me to eat, if I want to, didn't He? And He gave me free will to make the choice. And He made me smart enough to make good decisions, but if I make a less than good decision, he gave me the compassion to love myself regardless.....and to look back on the experience of eating a thousand candy bars and say to myself....."Good Lord, how lucky am I that I got the chance to eat 1000 candy bars?"
A few months ago when I noticed this crazy, huge, candy bar selection my thoughts were..."How much do candy bars cost these days?" I remember asking, but I don't remember the answer.....$1 each? Are they more expensive than that? Anyone know?
It doesn't matter anyway....I swear I'm going to buy one of each in the whole damn store.
OK, on another subject, but the same one......here's the plan.....
First of all, I can only buy one of any kind....that's the "rule".....maybe I'll buy the "kingsize" of my favorites......and, I know, because I'm the "middle child that never got anything", I'll eat my favorites first, leaving my lesser favorites for the end, as I attempt to eat through them all.....
Oh, and it makes me very happy to know that this whole experience will only cost me....what could it possibly cost? $40-$50-$60 bucks? Good Lord, I've spent more than that on a bikini wax, lol!
Bottom line, I'll wrap this up.....I'm talking trash until after this RKC weekend.....I'll keep you posted on what happens Sunday night.
Any bets?
The point of this story is....well there's a few points....
I haven't been binge eating, not really. Another part of bingeing is compulsive eating, and I haven't been doing much of that either. Why not? Well, when I have the energy to reflect on my thoughts about it I'll share, but in the mean time one of the things I've done is to just relax. I can have anything I want, when I want it, and food will never run out, in fact I have too much food....I've gotta stop telling myself that or it wil always be true. I don't want to have too much food, I want to have just enough.
And, you know what? So what if I eat a thousand candy bars? Good Lord, it's my life. It's just one day in my life. God made those candy bars for me to eat, if I want to, didn't He? And He gave me free will to make the choice. And He made me smart enough to make good decisions, but if I make a less than good decision, he gave me the compassion to love myself regardless.....and to look back on the experience of eating a thousand candy bars and say to myself....."Good Lord, how lucky am I that I got the chance to eat 1000 candy bars?"
A few months ago when I noticed this crazy, huge, candy bar selection my thoughts were..."How much do candy bars cost these days?" I remember asking, but I don't remember the answer.....$1 each? Are they more expensive than that? Anyone know?
It doesn't matter anyway....I swear I'm going to buy one of each in the whole damn store.
OK, on another subject, but the same one......here's the plan.....
First of all, I can only buy one of any kind....that's the "rule".....maybe I'll buy the "kingsize" of my favorites......and, I know, because I'm the "middle child that never got anything", I'll eat my favorites first, leaving my lesser favorites for the end, as I attempt to eat through them all.....
Oh, and it makes me very happy to know that this whole experience will only cost me....what could it possibly cost? $40-$50-$60 bucks? Good Lord, I've spent more than that on a bikini wax, lol!
Bottom line, I'll wrap this up.....I'm talking trash until after this RKC weekend.....I'll keep you posted on what happens Sunday night.
12 comments:
Ooooh... I spy marzipan Ritter Sport. Mmm. my favorite!
SO many of my favorites in that bunch!!
Isn't is nice though to be at an age where we can just say; "fuck it, I'm eating this because I can and I know what it will do to me"
Have a "Heath" bar for me, and a Milky Way, and a KitKat, and some tootsie rolls, etc.....
You should ask for a discount, like "buy one, get one free". If you're buying that many, they just might cut you a deal!
Good luck with that, if it were me, I wouldn't be able to leave the house for a couple days...I'm sure I'd ahve the runs!
Christine,
Marzipan Ritter Sport? Where? I've never had one....now I have to find it to try! I'm assuming there's chocolate involved?
Diana,
Ohh Heath....I haven't had one of those in eons....although I have had "heath bar ice cream".
When I was about 19 I ate so many Kit Kats in a row I made myself so sick I didn't eat another for almost 2 decades....I'm over it apparently, lol!
And as far as Toostie Rolls go....I can never eat one without thinking of you! You ae the Tootsie Roll Queen....or Goddess...whichever you prefer! (What about Milk Duds?)
Dawn,
The best thing that could happen is getting so sick, including something as horrific as the "runs" to cure me of these obsessive thoughts, lol!
You know.....the reality is so far from what it is that I really want.
If I want to overeat to the point of food coming back up my esophagus...and I've certainly done that....many times in the past....I can choose from so many other wonderful, delicious foods to binge eat on.
But you know what? I may or may not spend a day in bed....or I may force myself to suffer in a Bikram class.....I've burped up a cookie binge in 104 degrees before, I can do it again, lol!
I discovered the other day that eating a slice of cheesecake right before yoga is a very bad idea. Detox, indeed.
Milk Duds.....Yummmmm, I call them turds from the Gods!
BTW....that's Tootsie Roll Biatch!
Christine,
I once had a cinnamon bread binge the in the morning, around 9am, and when I went to 4:30pm yoga I just about died.....I've never done anything like that again! It killed me, lol!
Sweating off a food hanover from the day before sucks, but it's doable, lol
Diana,
Of coure.....how could I have not known!
Oh I did have a chocolate binge when I was a kid (maybe 7 or so). We kids used to sort and inventory our Halloween 'haul' to see how many pieces of the good stuff we got. I wasn't into the plain milk chocolate bars, so I ate all of them in one sitting, to y'know clear them out of my bag. Man, I didn't throw up or get the runs, but I was sick sick sick! Even know *many* years later, I cannot eat more than a small bit of chocolate without hitting a wall. So it's possible to cure yourself of chocolate cravings. I can think of a lot better things to do instead since none of us are judgement-impaired 7 year olds. LOL!
Stephfour,
Taking inventory your Halloween stash is the best!
Halloween is a mental challenge for me on so many levels even, in fact, especially as an adult.
First of all I have this "thing" about "free food". It still bugs me that I can't knock on every door that night and collect candy that eveyone is simply giving away. I have to remind myself that I'm an adult and I can buy all of the candy I want to.
Then....the day after Halloween, when all of the candy goes on half price (I have this problem with all Holiday candy and goodies, btw), I have to remind myself, again, that I'm an adult and I can buy whatever I want to....and it's not the last candy on earth. I can have it any time I want to.....just like all of that candy, sitting at Rotten Robbies!
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