The title of this blog post was a message for me.
On my way to yoga this morning I was thinking about some of the things I would change about myself if I could simply wave a magic wand. It wouldn't be any part of what I looked like, but how I act sometimes. Sometimes I act in a way, or say things to someone in hopes that they will "like" me better. How old am I? Digging a bit deeper (because I had the time) I realized how far back this feeling of wanting validation went....I didn't have to dig deep...or long!
Nearly everyone of us has some experience of feeling "unwanted". It could be from a parent, a teacher, a group of peers, the opposite sex? Heck, I've felt unwanted from salespeople who didn't think I had any money to spend! Feeling unwanted sucks! But really.....at the end of the day getting validation from a salesperson? Anyone that has ever "made" you feel unwanted is as unimportant as a salesperson as far as I'm concerned....it's their loss....or as it turns out it may be your loss!
If you feel as if you need validation you are telling yourself that you don't have it. You must first remind yourself! I AM VALID. I AM VALID. I AM VALID.....HEY, I AM VALID! You are valid simply because you are here! Now, do you care if anyone else feels the same? I don't!
This was my message to myself this morning...what a relief! Now I pass it on to you.
If I know any one thing about you, and I may just know one thing about you, it's that...abra ca dabra....You Are Valid!
Do you believe it yet? You should! Because YOU ARE VALID! We all are.
Great post Tracy.
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's not other people that have made me feel unwanted. In fact, when other people have treated me badly, I don't take it personal at all. I usually feel bad for them because I think that there is something that's bothering them so much that they are taking it out on someone else.
That being said, it's been ME who's made me feel I'm not worth it. That sounds terrible, doesn't it? I've put everyone's needs before mine for years. My husband has soccer, so I can't workout. My kids have some activity or another, so I can't spend time for myself. They never imposed any of this on me, I did it.
What's changed now? I have now chosen to put myself as a priority. Sure there's a lot of coordination needed, but I know now that I'm worth it. My self-worth has grown.
Sometimes we are the worst to ourselves...maybe even more so than anyone else.
Maribel,
ReplyDeletePart of needing validation IS "always doing for others"....not so much for strangers or people that may not like us. Why do you, or have you, put others needs, wants, or opinions, about you first?
You (we) didn't start out life feeling that you weren't worth it, none of us do.
It's the things that happen to us throughout our lives, and it could be something as small as getting rejected by Ricky Halloway to go the 5th grade Sadie Hawkins dance (Gee....did that only happen to me?), or maybe you weren't you mother or fathers "favorite".
I do believe we can be our own worst enemies, but we can also be our own biggest fan!
Great post, Tracy, and I also like Maribel's comment very much.
ReplyDeleteTracy,
keep writing books please :)
Judit,
ReplyDeleteI love to write...fingers crossed some of it will turn into books!