Restriction and Self Worth

A quick thought on Christine comments on my last blog post, "Calorie Police"....

It occured to me that there was a time that weighing all of my food and counting all of my calories was fun, informative and quite frankly, as I described it in a former blogpost, being "joyful". It was joyful because it was empowering, I felt in control...finally. Same with daily weigh-ins. But then it turned into self torture, why? So many people see calorie restriction..."dieting"....as exactly that "restriction", and how can that be fun? Restriction is restriction, isn't it?

I think it depends on whether or not we are getting what we want. Restricting how much money we spend to save for something we want can be challenging and fun, and make us proud to have made the sacrifice when we get what we want at the end. It was the same for me when I kept track of my food in a way that rewarded me in the end....when I was no longer rewarded, fast enough, it became policing.....maybe it comes down to expectations....instant gratification.

I don't think knowing what and how much you're eating is a bad thing, and I'll tell you what....I'd rather be conscious of what I'm doing than not. But when you let it control you, instead of you controling it then it's time to re-evaluate why you're doing it. My daily calorie consumption and my daily weigh-ins used to simply be data before it became a measure of my worth.

We are emotional creatures and how we become so caught up in our own judgements and fears of not being good enough or not "looking" good enough can seem, at times, to be a trap impossible to escape. The trap is when you use restriction as a form of punishment, and become tied to that number on the scale to determine your self worth. I don't have the answer.....just some thoughts.....